Have you ever woken up in the dark and been completely disoriented? Maybe you were staying at a hotel or a friend’s house. Did it feel like you had control of the situation? Moments like that are unpleasant at best. They shake the foundations of our confidence in our own ability to care for ourselves. However, they can teach us something about fear. Fear can either be a help, or a hindrance. Often, when we are learning something, fear can blind us and prevent us from absorbing the information. How do we prevent such blindness? Here are three strategies that can help:
1. Prepare to be bad at something.
a. One of the primary reasons that we experience fear when learning is that we expect judgement from others. Somehow, we think that if we aren’t good at something the first time we try it, people will think of us as a failure. When was the last time you thought of someone like that? The reality is that most people are so absorbed with their own learning journey that they barely have time to think about yours. Even if they do, they are remembering when they struggled with the same issues you are having. Now, to be honest, there are some places where the culture is very negative, and people behave as if each beginner is somehow less evolved. Those places are not healthy environments, but if you are stuck in one, the best thing to do is maintain a humble response to the jibes of others. It takes away their power and the “pleasure” of poking fun.
2. Weigh the results.
a. If you are afraid of trying something new, take a moment to review the risks. What will happen if you don’t get it right the first time? For most skills, the risks really aren’t that high. Humans have already been doing whatever it is for a long time. Obviously, there are some exceptions to this, but it stands true for a large majority of the skills you might try to learn. If you don’t get it right the first time, someone will correct you and you can try again. In most cases where you have to learn a “mission critical” skill for work or some athletic endeavor, you will have someone there to guide you through the process and keep you from making errors that would result in damage. Look around you. None of the other people doing the same skill are “special”. We are all just human. We all start at the beginning and work to make ourselves better. If they can do it, so can you!
3. Break it down.
a. Still feeling frightened? Just take the skill you are trying to learn and break it down into small parts. Work on each of those parts individually. Once you feel relatively confident in each of them, start stringing two of them together. As you get more and more confident, stack more of the pieces until you have the full skill! This is one of the most powerful learning tools in existence. Babies do it automatically, but as teens, we somehow forget the necessity of small steps. Maybe it is pride or peer pressure that makes us thing we should “do the thing” without first learning bits and pieces of it.
These three strategies for overcoming fear during your martial arts or any learning journey are also skills in themselves. You have to practice them. Fortunately, every time you learn something new, you have the perfect opportunity to employ them! One more thing that can be amazingly helpful in overcoming fear is surrounding yourself with supportive people. If you can, go find a coach who wants to see you succeed. Find a group of people who are on the same journey you are. While everyone’s path will be a little different, each of you can encourage and offer constructive experience to others. Remember, fear can and will blind you if you allow it to. Take a breath, be humble, and realize that everyone starts at the beginning. You’ve got this!