I recently listened to an audiobook by Gavin DeBecker called “The Gift of Fear”. It is a wonderful book full of advice on listening to our intuition and understanding the signals given by people around us. However, the most impactful statement I remember from it was this:
“Every human behavior can be explained by what preceded it,
but that doesn’t excuse it!”
It struck me as a great reminder of why we teach moral values along with martial arts skills. One without the other is a recipe for disaster.
For instance, if a student were only to learn combative skills such as punching, kicking, and throwing, they would have the ability to damage people who are less skilled than them. In fact, quite often, people who are naturally talented at fighting, but have no one to guide them, end up turning into bullies. The explanation for their actions is that they were taught (or learned on their own) how to fight, and they desired some resource. As a result, they acted using the tools at their disposal (i.e. violence) to acquire the resources from someone who did not have the same tools. It is simply a logical outworking of the given situation. I hope, however, that you can see how this type of behavior is ultimately destructive to both the violent and the abused parties. Not to mention society as a whole. With power comes responsibility.
In our particular dojang (martial arts school), we teach a foundation of the five tenets of Taekwondo. They are integrity, courtesy, self-control, perseverance, and indomitable spirit. In addition to these foundational values, we teach a number of other important guiding principles that help our students to make good life choices. These values are designed to act like bumpers on a bowling lane. They keep us from running our life into the gutter. No matter who you are, you will eventually end up in a situation where violence is one of the possible options for your current situation. However, if you are well-trained and practiced in the use of good values, you should be able to make a different decision.
In martial arts, we spend time drilling skills. We try to imagine a scenario and determine the best way to extricate ourselves from the situation with as little damage to our bodies as possible. How often do we do the same with our moral values? When was the last time you sat down and wrote out the values and principles that guide your life? Spending time analyzing situations and seeing how you could respond using your values is an enriching experience. We would all do well to take time to “practice” the values we claim!